it’s so fucking stupid how i would be fine and noticeably better off if only i would go to the doctor. i’d probably be doing something with my life- i’d probably have friends. instead i just went ahead and let this thing dictate what i deserve.
what might be even more stupid is the notion of just getting over it, which i firmly still believe is a possibility. maybe that is what’s holding me here. the idea of finally being done highschool and having all of my problems melt away.. but what happens next? where does this leave me? sitting at home like i am now? sulking and dreaming of better days- whispering to myself that they are ahead of me.
soon enough i’ll be dead and even then i’ll be telling myself it’ll be brighter tomorrow.
it’s either my inner demons, or the demons around me that are strapping me here- and i’d much rather run from the outside world than face what’s inside.
moving away?